5 Grand Illusions About Life & Happiness
Shifts in thinking
We live our lives never really questioning a few core assumptions our mental software is built on.
Entitlement, Permanence, The Self, Control, Thought — five dimensions where more sincerity and clarity can guide us to more contentment and peace.
🤲🏼 The Entitlement Illusion
I deserve to get what I need.
Do I, though?
We often expect reality to follow our rules and life itself to provide for us.
We tend to think that the universe owes us something. That we deserve getting what we (think we) need, simply because we need it.
But the harsh truth is this:
The universe doesn’t care about what you (or I) need. It doesn’t even care about your (or my) existence. The universe just is. Nothing more, nothing less.
Everything related to cause (doing) and effect (getting) is completely detached from any greater system of fairness or morality.
We are not entitled to anything, but free to do everything.
🌊 The Permanence Illusion
The joy of a night out with friends, the worry before an important presentation, the anger towards your boss, the sorrow after a breakup, the friends in your life, the house you live in, that nice body of yours, … Nothing is permanent.
Experiences, emotions, thoughts, things, people — all is temporary.
While, intellectually, we understand that everything comes to an end at some point, viscerally and emotionally we often believe that the temporary things are permanent.
We can’t imagine the pain to go away or the joy turn into sorrow.
We tacitly assume we will live forever and never really ponder our own finitude.
The only constant in life is change.
🧘🏻♂️ The Self Illusion
I am who I am.
Simple enough, but wrong.
Without others, who I am becomes a lot less meaningful. Because, in reality, I have a few different ways of looking at myself — different masks:
Who I think I am.
(I think I am somewhat cool.)Who I think that others think I am.
(I think that others think I am not cool.)Who I think that others think that I think I am.
(I think that others think that I think I am super cool.)Who I try to appear to be.
(I try to appear to be cool.)
Now, don’t all of these influence “who we are” to varying degrees in different ways in different circumstances and at different times?
🎛 The Control Illusion
Between Black Swan events and Butterfly Effects, there is a not so much we can control.
All we can do is act, respond, adjust.
And those matter — but the outcomes in our lives, both immediate and long-term, are the result of much more than what we do.
💭 The Thought Illusion
Cogito ergo sum. I think, therefore I am.
— R. Descartes
Often quoted, still wrong.
A better way to put it would be: I am, therefore my brain thinks.
If you close your eyes and observe the first thought that comes into existence, ask yourself:
Where did it come from? Did I choose to think that thought? Could I have decided to not think that thought?
Thoughts come and go. Like sounds or even emotions. They are suggestions, not commandments.
We can choose to hold on to, examine and expand upon them — or choose to let them go.
We are not our thoughts.